Why we’re fucking better than Amazon reviews
… the fuck?
There’s a special place for people who write reviews on no-slip, stick-on bathtub frogs. It’s the “I bitch about life to get through life” club. They meet up every Monday at noon because they don’t go to work. Their only skillset is to bitch, complain and whine. Their days are filled with leaving user comments and reviews. The bad kind.
Here’s a lesson for members of this special club:
Some things don’t have to be discussed to death!! Some things don’t need your review and approval. Your kid wants some no-slip, stick-on bathtub frog tattoos? Then get your kid some fucking no-slip, stick-on bathtub frog tattoos! They’re “good looking but don’t last long”? They’re $4.99! How long did your cheapass expect them to last? Hell, use our Amazon Prime account for free shipping if you care that much.
Point is: WHO GIVES A SHIT?! Don’t speak unless you have something valuable to say. Because every time you spew superfluous bullshit from your mouth, somewhere in the world a kitten goes deaf. So hear our plea and please save the kittens.
Was this review helpful to you?
Yes?
Good. Because we’re in the business of giving a shit about things that fucking matter. Let’s get beyond discussing things for discussions sake. Say something because it’s that fucking important. Recommend something because you love it that fucking much. The act of sharing (your voice) should spill over from a natural love of the thing itself.
It’s this mentality that drives us to do better here at Awessome!. We hope you enjoy the ride.
This is part of our series “Why the fuck we’re doing it better”. Check out the first blog post here where we tear into Yelp. Cheers!
Why we’re fucking better than Foursquare tips
A tip by definition is a “helpful hint”.
Being helpful is a good deed.
The “tips” above are essentially saying “go die”.
Dying ≠ good !
With us so far?
To the douchemonkeys telling us to “go die” we say stfu because:
For some time now Foursquare has been in the process of transitioning from an app focused on gaming (checking in & collecting stickers) to exploration (discovery via places, people and “personalized recommendations”). Check out this and this article for more info.
This new transition means Foursquare’s putting much more emphasis on its content (comments; reviews; “tips”) then it was before. These “tips” by definition “are generally things you’d recommend to others” with the intended goal of always having “something interesting to do nearby.”
Still with us?
Because you see, some random people up above just told us to launch ourselves over the Benjamin Franklin Bridge. That’s neither in our best interests nor at all fucking sane. It’s neither a useful recommendation nor helpful suggestion. By definition then, it’s not a tip.
So why is it still there? The first “tip” is from Sept 2010 - almost two years ago. It shouldn’t be there. Nor should the others.
The thing is, our communities are only as good as our worst, dumbass, bullshit spewing, kitten killing members. Let them thrive, hell let them exist, and your community turns to shit. There’s been talk of Foursquare directly competing with Yelp. In that vein, we wouldn’t be surprised if not long from now we see people going on Foursquare just to bitch about a place.
Would hate to see that happen.
At Awessome! we’re trying to fix this from the start. Even our name - it sets a bar for entry:
Awesome community.
Orgasmic content.
Your mom’s not allowed.
Our mission is to save the fucking kittens.
This is what a “tip” should read like:
With us so far?
Good.